Present the Mediation Toolbox

Mediation Toolbox: The Everyday Building Blocks of Transformative Justice are asking these types of questions

We know that there cannot be one process for every conflict. Instead, we offer some guiding questions that you can use during conflict- these are questions to help you mitigate a bigger problem. A lot of times with conflict in our lives and injustices, the tiny things go untouched until it becomes  a full blown crisis, everyday practices of Transformative Justice involves tending to the smaller conflicts before they become large.. These questions here are focused around conflict resolution in a collaborative work space:

What happened?

First, get on the same page. Give space for each person to share their experience in a non-accusatory manner. Having a mediator may help regulate time and conversation. The goal here is not to assign fault, but rather put all the issues on the table so that reconciliation can begin

Why did this happen?

For example, is there a lack of resources that contribute to chronic tardiness or lack of work?

What does each person need to move forward?

Identify action items from each person, such as “I need a 24 hour response time from you” “I need you to let me know if you can’t complete this assignment”

Note: We cannot force people to take accountability, but, we also don’t need an apology to move towards forgiveness. 

Present the concept of Rumbling 

Rumble: a discussion, conversation, or meeting defined by a commitment to lean into vulnerability, to stay curious and generous, to stick with the messy middle of problem identification and solving, to take a break and circle back when necessary, to be fearless in owning our parts, and to listen with the same passion with which we want to be heard

More than anything else, when someone says, “Let’s rumble,” it cues us to show up with open hearts and minds so we can have a productive conversation that strengthens relationships and the community, rather than just meeting our own needs.

1. Here are some specific rumble starters/ curiosity starters and questions that we use in difficult conversations. They’re helpful phrases to teach, model, and practice:
   • “The story I make up…I’m curious about…
   • Tell me more.
   • That’s not my experience (instead of “You’re wrong about her, him, them, it, this…”).
   • I’m wondering…
   • Help me understand…
   • Walk me through…
   • We’re both dug in. Tell me about your passion around this.
   • Tell me why this doesn’t fit/work for you.
   • I’m working from these assumptions—what about you?
   • What problem are we trying to solve? 
   • We’re in very different places. Why don’t we spend twenty minutes rumbling on how we got here, then circle back tomorrow and land on an approach?
   • Walk me through all of the assumptions you are working off.
   • How did y’all come up with the schedule
   • What are y’all seeing as the goal of the training?

Rumbling can be two people agreeing on having a rumble conversion, probably in a space where you are both aware of the concept but you can also decide on your own that you are going to rumble with someone on your end. You yourself can commit to leaning into vulnerability, to staying curious and acting generously and working on problem solving

Rumble Worksheet

Break into groups of two or three and have them complete the Rumble Starter Reflection worksheet.

1. Rumble Starters Worksheet 

Group Discussion

As a group, ask the students these reflection questions, have them share out. 

1. Do you have any good curiosity cues or starters that you’ve found effective in tough conversations?
2. What curiosity starts do you see yourself using in the face of conflict